Angel from the Past
by angelhearts4you
Summary: Ever since I met you, our fates were sealed. Intertwining with each other. Our paths crossed. Changes in our life we have to make. Turning back now is just too late. Story is AU.
1. Childhood

Rustling of leaves could be heard as it came closer. The boy, stood, legs apart, was prepared to defend himself. Out emerged a small boy around the age of seven to eight, panting. Cute came to mind when he saw the blue-haired child. Relaxing a little, he walked up to the child and asked, "Hello. What is your name?"

The child snapped his head up, eyes widening. "I'm Ciel. So sorry for intruding. I... I shall leave now." Turning around, he started walking to the path where he had come from.

"Wait!" he cried, "You can say here if you want. I won't stop you. By the way, I'm Sebastian."

"Really?" Ciel asked, eyes began to sparkle.

"Yeah," Sebastian answered.

"Thank you!" Ciel screamed and pounced onto Sebastian, engulfing the boy in a bear hug. Unexpecting the attack, Sebastian fell backwards from the impact, landing with an 'oaf'.

"Sorry," Ciel giggled, lying on Sebastian's chest. A few minutes later, he realized the position that they were in and blushed furiously. "Sorry, really," he apologized the second time, getting off Sebastian. His eyes looking everywhere except the boy.

"It's fine. Not every day I get to meet someone like you," Sebastian remarked. Smiling harder when he only gotten a harder blush as a response.

Both boys sat next to each other, enjoying the landscape and scenery around them. Sebastian gave a quick glance at the blue-haired boy. It felt strange being so a stranger but somehow, he enjoyed the company. He was always alone, never socializing. However, it seems that Ciel was different from the others.

The feeling of Ciel beside him was comforting. It was... nice.

"Will you be here tomorrow?" Ciel suddenly asked.

"I will, if you want me to," Sebastian replied.

Frowning at such a reply, Ciel slowly processed what the other boy had just said. Nodding, he agreed. "Okay! See you here tomorrow in the evening. It's getting late, I have to go. It's been nice meeting you."

"See you tomorrow then," the raven-haired boy said, ruffling Ciel's hair.

"Hey! Stop that!" Ciel protested. Waving as he left the area, "See you!" he said. And he disappeared into the vegetation.

Ciel... Such a cute boy, Sebastian thought. Ciel... Blue...

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><p>The next few days, Sebastian and Ciel met each other at the same place and time. Spending time together, enjoying one another's company.<p>

"Ciel," Sebastian began, "I have to leave here soon. I'm shifting."

Ciel's heart sank. Sebastian was his first friend but now he has to leave. He will be lonely, missing the older boy. Tearing a little, he asked, "When?"

"Somewhere next week. We still have time to meet," the boy answered.

"Okay," replied the younger, falling quiet.

The evening wind breezed through the field, tousling the boys' hairs. Birds chirping, singing their happy song. Ciel, seated, was staring into space. Sebastian sighed, lowering himself onto the grass. The young boy was ignoring him, yet again.

"Promise me, that you will say goodbye," Ciel whispered, letting the breeze carry his voice.

"I promise Ciel. Ever since I met you here, have I ever broken a single promise to you?" Sebastian asked. The said boy shook his head. "Then I shall not break this promise to you," continued Sebastian. The duo silently watched a pair of butterflies as they flew and hovered over the grass. Freedom, joy and happiness. Both the boys have yet to obtain them, chained to the rules that have in their lives.

"Sebastian, I wish that you were the butterfly. Free from all things. You've mentioned that you are like a puppet, being controlled by others, never able to break free. Someday, I hope that you will fly your own flight," Ciel said, eyes following the butterflies. Sebastian never replied.

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><p>"Sebastian!" Ciel yelled, as the meadow came to view.<p>

No answer. That was strange, normally; Sebastian would arrive first and wait for him. Walking through the meadow, Ciel searched for him. "Sebastian!" he called out again. Weird… he thought. No, don't tell me he left already. But then, he promised earnestly that we will say goodbye.

He continued scanning the place for any signs, deep in thought. Possibilities on where the raven-haired boy might be ran through his mind, each getting more absurd than the previous. He yelled the missing boy's name, worrying for him, fearing for the worst. He was too caught up in his own world that he did not hear footsteps approaching.

Sebastian's POV:

He was late. Shifting houses was such a tedious task, but he had been doing this since he was eight. Shifting would mean that he will have to find a new quiet place to rest. Of all places, he concluded that the meadow, here, was the best. Quiet and peaceful, it was rare for someone to find that field. However, that was where he met Ciel.

He had never thought he would make a friend but he did eventually. Speaking of which, the young boys was most probably waiting anxiously for him. Today was the last day they would spend together. Walking to his cabinet, he pulled put a drawer. He wanted to give Ciel a parting gift but was torn between choices. A gift that would remind Ciel of him, making him remember the previous days they had. Eyes scanning the items before him, he settled for one. Sebastian lifted it and slipped it into his pocket.

He then closed the drawer and glanced at the clock. He was really late. Grabbing his coat from the bed, he ran down the stairs. "I'm going out!" he shouted, informing whoever that was in. Lucky for him, a ten minutes walk would be enough to reach the meadow. It took him a five as he ran there. His ears perked up, someone was calling his name. Ciel. The little boy seemed deep in though. He smirked, an idea forming.

Slowing down, he crept behind Ciel. He placed his hands over the cerulean eyes, head lowered to the boy's ear level. "Looking for me?" he breathed. Ciel jumped, letting out a squeak.

**Normal POV:**

Ciel pulled Sebastian's hands away from his eyes. "Sebastian!" he scolded. "That wasn't nice." he turned around and frowned. "You're late."

"I'm sorry, was clearing my stuff at home," Sebastian replied, making no move from their current position.

"Fine," Ciel huffed. "Today is really your last huh. Time passes so fast, " he said, eyes downcast.

"That's true. Close your eyes, I have something for you," the older boy smiled. The thought of getting a present made Ciel eager to receive it, he quickly complied. He felt Sebastian's hands brushed against his neck and something weighing on his chest.

"Okay, you may open your eyes now," Sebastian said, taking a step back and waited for Ciel's reaction.

Ciel reached his neck and looked down. A pendant dangling from a silver chain. He let out a small gasp. "S...Seb...Sebastian..." he choked out, 'Why are you giving me this necklace?" The pendant was silver, a small gem placed on it. To Ciel, the jewel looked like a genuine diamond. The pendant , itself, was shaped like a wing. Simple yet elegant. To be honest, Ciel loved it. But, it was too much to accept. "Sebastian, I...I cannot accept this... This is too..." Ciel trailed off.

"Ciel, do you like it?" The older asked. Ciel nodded, slowly, unsure whether he should be answering the question. "then keep it. This is nothing much. The necklace suits you. I like it," Sebastian said, patting the other boy's head. Ciel raised his head, and looked at the boy, troubles diminishing. He had nothing else to worry about. The pendant in his hand was brought to his lips. A small kiss was placed on the gem.

"Thank you, Sebastian!" Ciel beamed, delighted to keep the necklace. He went forward and hugged Sebastian tightly. And as quickly as he started it, he removed himself from the boy. Sebastian looked at Ciel, eyebrows raised. "I have something for you too," Ciel explained before galloping away.

When he came back, in his hands was a piece of paper. Not looking Sebastian's eyes, Ciel thrusted the paper into the other boy's hand. "For you," he mumbled. Sebastian accepted the paper, curious. "I know this isn't as nice or as expensive as the pendant but I drew this for you,' Ciel continued, finally looking at Sebastian.

Eyes lowering onto the drawing, Sebastian took in its details. "Oh Ciel, it's alright. Giving me something makes me happy enough," Sebastian whispered.

The drawing was in crayon, wonderfully expressed. a field with two boys sitting, watching the butterflies. It exactly depicted the same scene that happened a few days back. "Ciel, are those two...us?" Sebastian asked. A small nod was returned, as a reply. He Turned the piece of paper over and there were words written;

Dear Sebastian,

I loved watching butterflies, especially with you. One day, I wish I can see you spread your wings and fly. We might not be able to meet each other again but I will remember you. Hoping that you are free, flying in the wind.

Love,

Ciel

Sebastian swallowed. He was not good at saying goodbyes. Nevertheless, he has to. After spending the days with Ciel, he found out that Ciel, still a small boy, was very mature for his age. The reason why he goes to the field was to escape the tortuous routine at home. Ciel seemed reluctant to share thus he did not probe further. Now, the blue-haired child befriended him, he could see that the stress and tension has reduced. Ciel was more joyous, however, after he leaves, what will happen to Ciel?

"Sebastian? Do you like it?" Ciel asked, breaking the boy's train of thoughts. Does he not like the drawing? Is it too plain? Ciel thought. He had noticed Sebastian's hands tightened on the paper, forming creases. Sebastian snapped back into reality. He knelt to be of same level as Ciel.

Giving a smile , which was reserved for felines only, he said, "I love it. I will treasure it always even as I leave here. Say, Ciel, when did you draw so well? You've never told me that you drew."

"My mama says that drawing is very good. I love to draw!" Ciel exclaimed, pleased that Sebastian loved it. His mood abruptly changed as he remembered that Sebastian was leaving today. A shiny film coated his eyes, water was leaking down to his cheeks. "You have to leave don't you? I wanted to give you more drawings. Will you be coming back?" he hiccupped.

Sebastian's eyes widened, he had no idea how to handle a sudden change of mood and worse, a crying child. Trying his best, he shushed Ciel. "Ciel, come here," he gestured, with his arms open. "Don't cry. I will really, really miss you. Even though we can't see each other and I cannot confirm when I'm able to come back, we can still send letters to each other. Give me your address, I will write to you."

Ciel looked up, chin resting on Sebastian's chest. "We can really?" he sniffed.

"Yes. Write down your address. Now, don't cry. You won't want me to remember your crying face when I leave right? Give me a smile. Smile for me, Ciel," Sebastian comforted, wiping the tears away.

Ciel did as what Sebastian had said, he scribbled his address next to the note. He then plopped down onto the patch of grass, beside Sebastian.

Time passed quickly. Ciel and Sebastian knew they had to part when both watched the sunset together.

They had to say goodbye, and they did. Neither wanted to prolong the dreaded feeling. After saying their last rounds, they parted with a hug.

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><p><strong>How was it? Hope you have enjoyed this chapter. Btw, this is my first fic so I'm very excited about it. Please review!<strong>

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji. Only the plot.**


	2. Invitation

**Hi! I'm back! From the previous chapter, there is a time jump to this chapter. Thanks for reading!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Kuroshitsuji is just pure awesome.**

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><p>Ciel groaned. Turning over, he shut the annoying thing off. Stupid clock, he cursed. His body was aching all over, he needed more sleep . Despite knowing that the next day was a school day, he stayed up all night working. He could not miss such an opportunity anyways.<p>

He sat up in bed, stretching. 'Buzz. Buzz.' His phone vibrated on the bed stand. Without checking the caller's ID, he flipped open the phone and answered, "Hello?"

"CIEL! MORNING! Did you get a good rest after last night? You are all over the news again! I'm so proud of you! Hello? Ciel? Are you listening?" the caller rattled on.

He sighed. He should have known who would be the only one disturbing the peace in the morning. "Morning Aunt Ann. I slept quite well, how was yours?" he replied politely.

"The usual. You are getting bigger in the media! What's your next job?"

"Not too sure. But most probably something similar like last night's. Anyway, I'm hanging up now. I have to prepare for school. Bye." he snapped the phone shut. He ran his hand through his hair and muttered, while getting out of bed, "Today's going to be a long day." He needed a warm bath.

Stripping off his pyjamas, he stepped into the shower. Ciel sighed contentedly, the warm water helps him relax his muscles. A refreshing way to start the day. After his bath, he wrapped a towel over the lower part of his body and padded out. Throwing open his wardrobe doors, he scanned his clothes.

He had a reputation to uphold, even more so when his name was splashed onto the media. Settling for a white-collared shirt, a black vest and pants, he tossed them on. For the final touch, he added a belt. He checked his refection for the last time and headed to the kitchen.

Bread and jam spread was all he could do. Ciel was hopeless when it came to cooking. His kitchen was never touched since he rented the apartment. As he bit into his breakfast, his hand sub-consciously touched his neck. Something's missing, he thought. The necklace! How could he have forgotten about it? He set his bread down and returned to his bedroom. The chain, resting on the wooden surface, glowed at him, reflecting the sun's rays. Fastening the jewellery around his neck, he placed a small kiss on it. A habit ever since that day. Ciel sighed, he should not be raking up the past now.

"Time for school,' he muttered. He picked up a case that was beside the dresser. He might have to work today. He slung his backpack over his shoulder, and cleared the remains of his breakfast before leaving the house.

As he made his way to school, Ciel passed by a newspaper stand. The vendor was distributing them out to the public. He took one and the headlines captured his attention. 'Ciel has done it again'. He scowled. Trust the newspaper to publicize the hottest topics. He scanned the article. Tch, what rubbish they had written, he thought.

The article has mentioned the start of his career and they have tracked his progress. Stating the latest job he had done and praises on his work. 'The young prodigy, Ciel, has wowed thousands at the performance last night. No less was expected from the player. Ciel has, no doubt, exceeded the expectations and proved the critics wrong about him for not being daring enough. Such vigour was displayed, leaving a deep impression on audiences."

As Ciel continued reading, a paragraph caught his eye. 'Ciel 'appeared out of nowhere' and impressed many professionals. It is a wonder how he had hid his talents, only to reveal it not too long ago. Many rumors have been circulating around, speculations on his skills. We do not know what this player had done in the past but what we do know is that it has nurtured the young child into a prodigy. To catch Ciel's next performance, it will be held at Laxure the following month on the 27th.'

"If only they knew. And if they do, my career will do down," Ciel muttered. Turning around the corner, he came nearer the enormous campus. Students filing in, as groups or individuals. Ciel sighed, thinking of a way how to avoid the crowd.

"Hey Ciel! Awesome performance!" a student shouted across the road. Ciel's eyes widened, dammit, my chance is gone, he thought. Soon, a group began to form around him, trying to congratulate him. Ciel plastered on a tight smile, muttering words of thanks as he pushed his way through. Then, he made a break for it to the campus building. He ran. without stopping nor looking back, until he reached his locker. Ciel leaned against the metal door, gasping for breath.

"Hey, Ciel, are you alright?" a gentle voiced asked. The said boy glanced up and saw big, brown eyes filled with concern, looking at him.

"Yeah. Usually happens after a concert," Ciel replied. This girl... She looks familiar. What's her name... Mary...Marie... Maria. "Thanks Maria."

"My pleasure. Wonderful performance. You are just amazing. See you in class later, I've to find someone. Bye," Maria said, giving a small wave.

"Thanks. See you," Ciel answered out of courtesy as she walked away.

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><p>The day passed quickly for Ciel. Praises kept on coming in. He was, now, trying very hard not to drop his head on the table and fall into a deep sleep. The silence in class encouraged him to do so, the teacher's droning was not helping him at all. The lesson would be nicer if it had been a practical one and not theory.<p>

Art, be it visual or performing, he was good at both except dance. He hated dancing. Taught and trained for many hours on art, drawing, music, painting, instruments were what Ciel excelled in. Theory and practical both. However, application was his favourite. It allowed him to express his feelings and convey his thoughts to whoever. It gives him great satisfaction to see people enjoying his works.

'Buzz. Buzz' Ciel's phone vibrated against his skin. He reached into his pocket and read the message received. 'Hello Ciel. Wonderful performance, stunning. I'm sorry I can't make it for today's tutti. Something cropped up. Sorry.' It was one of the cellists named Profirio. The message reminded Ciel that he has to rush off to orchestra practice after school then, to another one. The day will roughly end at ten in the night if the practices go smoothly.

"Excuse me, the principal wants to meet Ciel," A boy interrupted the class, pulling Ciel back to reality. Getting up, Ciel collected his items and followed the messenger. At least he could escape the boring art lesson.

When he arrived, the boy left him alone, and he wanted to be called in. The door opened and the secretary called Ciel in.

"Ahh... Ciel. Brilliant pieces! Magnificent! You are a genius, my boy!" The principal, Tanaka, rose from his seat as the blue-haired boy entered. "Please, coffee or tea?"

"I'm fine. Thank you, Mr Tanaka," Ciel answered, settling into a chair. "You called me here because..."

"Getting down to business aren't you?" Tanaka remarked. "I was invited to this gathering but I'm afraid that I am not able to attend it. So, I've decided that you, Ciel, will take my place." He waved the invitation in front of Ciel. He accepted the paper and opened it. Scanning through the words, Ciel asked, "Who will be there?"

"well, since it's a gathering for charitable causes. I believe bosses of big organizations, celebrities and artistes will turn up," came the reply.

The gathering will be held two months later at Solace Hotel ballroom. Starting at 6.30pm. Ciel doubted he had the time to attend but since it was offered by the principal, he would have to reschedule his timings. "Very well, I will take your place."

Tanaka hummed his approval. "If that is all ,I shall take my leave now," Ciel said, standing up.

"Well then, goodbye. All the best for your next performance!" Tanaka said, Ciel raised his hand in acknowledgement and walked out. Now, onto practices, he thought.

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><p><strong>I'm done! It's a relatively short chapter so please forgive. I'm very busy right now, coping with homework, projects and upcoming exams. So hope you have enjouyed this chapter. Let's just say that Sebastian's is the son of an actor and actress. Yup! Ciel's and Sebastian's past will be mentioned but not now. ^^ -angelhearts4you<strong>


	3. Meeting

**YAH! Third chapter! Thank you for reading and of course, reviewing. ****So sorry for not updating! Really stressed out but yeah, I think, this chapter is one of my favorites. Oh! And the link of Ciel's drawing and pendant is up on my profile. Check it out! ^^**

**Disclaimer: If only Kuroshitsuji is mine...**

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><p>Ciel stepped into the practice hall and glanced around. The seats were all arranged but it seems that he was the only one there. He checked his phone, 1.30pm. He was an hour early. <em>Well, at least I can practice in quietness. <em>He walked towards the grand piano and opened the cover, revealing the black and white keys. Putting hi bag and case next to him, his fingers ran over them. He loved the piano since he was a child; he even practiced it every day. The piano brings back his childhood memories; happiness, sadness, joy and despair.

Taking a deep breath, he immersed himself in the song. Fingers gliding the keys, he closed his eyes and cleared his mind. The piece he was playing was an original composition he had written. It started off happily, then playful. As he played the mood gradually turned darker. Scenes of his childhood flashed across his mind, each section of the song fitted every one. He had named this piece 'Butterfly'.

The melody was building up, getting louder until he stopped. Silence filled the hall. It was incomplete. The ending was not written; Ciel had nothing to end this with. He has yet to come up with a suitable one. The pendant resting on his chest felt heavier. He took it out and clasped it in his hands. "Sebastian, do you remember those times? This piece is a recollection of the past. Why, why did it have to turn out this way?" he asked. Sigh. He had to set up his violin now, time has passed so quickly. He got up and went to the room with his belongings.

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><p>Louder. Crescendo. Full bow. Fingers nimbly ran on the board at a speed deemed impossible. The coda of the song, grand and majestic, at the loudest, he had to play it out. Vigorous strokes of bow against the strings. Crossing strings at every note played, then, a solid one resonated through the room. Gradually getting softer until it was heard no more, the player put his instrument down and decided it was time for a break.<p>

Music was with him since young. The violin was his first instrument and will always be. He has mastered the piano too, but he still preferred the wooden instrument. He shut his eyes and rested. The player was a well-known violinist around the world, sought after by many orchestras. He had joined some but never stayed for more than two years. He enjoyed travelling around the globe alone, bringing music with him. Spreading it wherever he went. Searching for music that pleases his ear. But he has found none. Until…now.

The song so melodious, touching the heart. Played with such emotions and précised touch. Who was it? This piece, he had never heard before, absolutely not by Mozart or Chopin. So heart-wrenching, he wanted to comfort the player.

_Where is it? _He thought. It must be from the concert hall. An orchestra will be practicing there, around this time. The song continued, growing darker by the minute. He ran towards and up the stairs, maneuvering in and out doors. He was at the last corridor, and there was a double door in front.

Louder and harder playing. And then, the music stopped. _What, why did it stop?_ _What happened? _He thought, closing the distance between the doors and himself. He burst through them and leapt onto stage. There was no one around. The player had left, or so it seemed.

"Too late," he muttered. The pianist, so agonizing an emotion expressed in the piece. Why the feeling and where can he be found? For so long he had been searching for a player or at least and a piece that satisfied his craving for music. Today, he managed to hear it. Only once. He doubted he would be able to hear such a piece again. But he wanted more. It was incomplete. The pianist left without ending the music. _Why, _was the main question that ran through his mind.

The door creaked open. Could it be...?

No, he thought. It wasn't. Just a group of musicians strolling in, chattering away. "He is so good, even at a young age, he became the concert master. Just yesterday, his fame grew. What a... Hey! Isn't that...?" One in the group saw him. "Sebastian! What are you doing here? It's been a long time!"

"Hello, long time no see. I've been practicing till I heard someone playing the piano hence came to take a look," he replied, coming down from the stage.

"Someone's here so early? Wait..." the person said. "Oh, is it the concert master? What's his name? Ce...al...? Ci...al?"

"Hey! All of you, set up! We can't be wasting any more time. Go on!" A cold voice directed to the group.

Mumbling words of apology, the group went behind the stage. A teenage boy walked up, coming into view. Hard, cold glares, freezing everything in its path.

"That's him. Our concert master, took your place after you left. Honestly, his skills can be compared to yours," One whispered as he walked past. "See you."

Sebastian nodded his head and turned his attention to the cold boy. Cerulean eyes, cold with a blazing fire. They looked so familiar yet unknown. "And as for you, leave. This is an orchestra practice. You'll be disturbing us. Be it whether you are the previous concert master, leave," the boy said, glaring at him.

"As you wish. I've see you have groomed this orchestra into a wonderful one. May we meet again," Sebastian replied, turning to the door.

As he walked down the flight of stairs, thoughts kept running through his mind. The boy's name was Ciel, the famous child prodigy, and was most probably the one who played the piano earlier. Ciel... A name he would never forget. But the Ciel he had met disappeared without a trace. The teenager looked so familiar and similar to the young Ciel that he knew but their personalities were polar opposites. That boy could not be the Ciel he knew. However, he would have to check it out. Who this Ciel was and what his connections are.

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><p>Ciel was annoyed. Those musicians, some doubled or tripled his age, did not know how to save time. They came strolling in and went to chat with someone that was not even in the orchestra. Now, they were taking their own sweet time setting up. His eyebrows twitched.<p>

"Hurry up!" he barked "And just who were you talking to?"

The players, used to his usual rudeness, ignored the boy and continued their activity. Only one answered him, "As you would already know, he is Michealis. The famous violinist. Previous concert master of this orchestra. But so far, he has not stayed in any for more than two years and his contracts end in less than three. But he leads a good life. Have the looks, the women and the wealth." Ciel narrowed his eyes, the player was hiding something. He knew it, what they had called him was not Michealis. It was by another name. "Tch," he muttered. Why did he care so much?

More members of the orchestra began to show up. Each congratulating Ciel on the performance last night. Ciel nodded his head as an indication of thanks. He hated it, the main star of attraction. Drawing his bow, he ran through his scales and arpeggios. Then, he played some sections of the songs he was to perform next month.

The location of the performance was at Laxure, a famous concert hall, popular among the best players and orchestras in the world. It was also the place where his mother played for the last time. He had to succeed, to make his parents and aunt proud. He was the only son, and child, of the family. Nothing can change that fact. Ciel sighed. What was wrong with him today? He kept thinking about the past. It was already over, what was done was done. Ciel cleared his mind and stood in front of the seated ensemble.

Conversations began to die down, hushed whispers, then, a complete silence. Ciel smirked, they knew the usual routine. He has indeed groomed this orchestra well. He played his A string, letting the note ring in the air. Softly, sections of the orchestra tuned their instruments accordingly. When done, the silence returned. They waited for the next piece of instructions. Since the conductor was not here yet, the concert master would take over.

Ciel raised his chin and spoke, "As you all would already know, we have been playing Haydn's surprise symphony for more than five months and so far, our schedule is quite relaxed. Stuart and I have discussed and agreed that we will be taking on a new piece. It has yet to be confirmed but for this October's concert, those two pieces will be performed. That gives us around four and a half months to prepare." His eyes meeting every single member, getting his point across. 'Moving on, movement two. From the beginning."

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><p><strong>One month later:<strong>

Silence. Then, thunderous applause filled the concert hall. Each audience rose from their seats, cheering for the player. "Bravo! Encore!" was chanted. Ciel took a bow, exited the stage to put his instrument down, and re-entered the stage again.

He saw his aunt, clapping and nodding her head, uncontrollably sobbing away. He knew he had done his family proud. The last piece that he played was his mother's favorite; it was especially dedicated to her. Memories of him spending time with his mother flooded his mind. Times when he heard his mother played that song, trying to learn. Those sweet times, no longer around, they were long gone, he thought. A final bow and he left the stage.

The concert alone would increase his fame, making his name more known around the world. As he packed up, his aunt entered the backstage. "Ciel. My nephew, you are just the best. I'm so proud of you. You remind me of my sister," she said, kissing his forehead. "I have to leave, but remember, I love you. Oh, and Ciel," she continued, "The records company called, they wanted to tell you that they are ready for your debut album."

Ciel nodded, "Thanks Aunt Ann. I'll call them. Thank you for coming tonight." He walked her to her car and watched as she drove out of the driveway. Sighing, he stretched out his hand to signal for a taxi. After managing to get into one, he called the company.

"Hello? This is Ciel. I'm calling to confirm the recording timings." Ciel discussed with the other party over the phone, in the end, he decided on a date and time. "Okay, that's that. I'll see you then." Sigh. The previous month was hectic for Ciel. Rushing off to orchestra practices and his own and back to school. At least, he could do something more relaxing now. However, his chaotic routine will resume again after fixing the dates for his recordings. A new way for revenue.

He was approached by a company to record his playing. Ciel had decided to go for it; however, the pieces in his album would be all original. The album of his 18 years so far. The times, the feelings and memories he has, all into the album. All the songs would be played on his parents' favorite instrument, the piano.

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><p><strong>How was it? Reviews please. And by the way, I've realized that this fic would be largely in link to music. Thank you for reading! ^^<strong>


	4. More than missing you

**Woo! I'm back. Thank you for reading and reviewing! *HUGS* I really did not know how to actually write this chapter. But somehow, my awesome friend told me. Thank you, thank you. GUESS WHAT? I've decided to add in Ciel's past. Finally! I know! So please enjoy! ^^**

**WARNING: The characters may be a little OOC.**

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><p>Sweet soft music filled the air. The room was full with people, small conversations here and there. These people were not just anyone but celebrities and bosses. They had gathered here by the invitation of the founder of Pure Love, the biggest charity organization so far, Richard Dawson.<p>

"Welcome! As all of you would have known, I have invited you here today to celebrate the 45th Anniversary of Pure Love. Thank you for supporting us for these past years." He said. The rest of the speech was ignored, blocked out by Ciel. As his speech came to an end, the audience clapped and Ciel followed, out of courtesy. He should introduce himself to the host on behalf of Mr. Tanaka.

As he walked through the crowd, many noticed him and nodded hello. He replied them with a small smile, continuing forward. At least, Richard Dawson was in sight.

"Mr Dawson," Ciel greeted as he approached the man. "I am Ciel. On behalf of Mr Tanaka, I apologize to you as he was not able to attend for this evening. Hence, has asked me to take his place." He shook the adult's hand.

"Ah, Ciel. The teenage prodigy. Welcome. I have to apologize to you, too, for not inviting you to this event. I… do remember someone with the same name as you… He… was in the orphanage I set up. A beautiful child indeed," Richard said. Ciel's eyes widened, _orphanage… beautiful child. No, it could not be that coincidental. He… Dawson… _Ciel began to feel claustrophobic. His breathing getting heavier, he needed to get away.

"Well Ciel, I'd better get going. I need to meet others too. It is nice knowing you," Richard said, leaning in. Ciel could feel his breath against his face; it was close; too close for comfort. "…Same here, Mr Dawson," Ciel replied in the calmest voice he could. Richard gave a squeeze on his shoulders before moving off. That touch, it raked up past memories Ciel had long hidden. All of them, resurfacing.

_No one can see me like this. _Ciel quickly moved out of the ballroom. _No…No… This can't be happening. _As he leaned against the pillar, he tried to calm himself down, to no avail. The screams and pain of that whole month were just coming back. His body began to shake, breathing became erratic. Ciel squeezed his eyes; the memories were threatening to overwhelm him.

"... Sir? Sir, are you alright?" Ciel, in the midst of terror and confusion, heard someone speaking to him and struggled to focus on the voice. He needed something calm, soothing. "Music… Piano," he gasped.

"Pardon?"

"… Do you… have a room with a piano? May… I use it?" Ciel gritted his teeth, as the words came out. He needed music. It calms his nerves.

"Certainly, please follow me," the porter said.

With much difficulty, Ciel managed to will his body to move. The porter brought him to a small room and said, "Here we are sir." Ciel nodded and whispered a small thank you and moved forward. The porter left him alone, closing the door behind him.

There stood a magnificent white grand piano. Ciel took small steps towards the huge instrument, arms crossed with hands clutching the elbows. His eyes darted left and right and left again, weary of his surroundings. So far so good. Nothing here looked like it would trigger another panic attack.

After opening the piano's covers, Ciel tried out the keys. All very well maintained, crisp and clear sound. He sighed. Another sudden panic attack. It was so unexpected. He had thought that the attacks were gone, never were they coming back again. But he was wrong. Luckily for this time, someone distracted him from being sucked into the memories. If not, he would not know what will happen to him.

Sighing again, Ciel sat on the piano bench. He promised himself not to let his past affect him. He lightly glided his fingers across the keyboard. Something calm, someone who might be able to comfort him. Yes, that song, specially composed to remind him of that person.

The person he missed so much, the one who had left him and never came back. That person; the pendant was a gift from him. Letters were exchanged until _that _day. He promised yet he did not come back. He had waited for so long, but no one saved him before it was too late. So much hardship, yet, the pendant reminds him of that person, bringing comfort in times of need. Even though the promise was broken.

It was him. It was his first and last childhood friend he had. The tonic chord sounded before the melody followed after. This piece was slow, bringing comfort to Ciel whenever he played it. Remembered, was the title. He will always remember that person. No matter what had happened to him or what he was doing now. Remembering the times they had, so fun, so joyous. Remembering the letters he had gotten. But most of all, remembering who he was. His hair, his face, his eyes and lastly, his name.

Sebastian.

That was his name. He was mysterious yet comforting. Just like the melody of the song is. Quiet, a little to the minor side but sweet. Everything that Ciel has that reminds him of Sebastian, all depicted in the music. The feelings and emotions.

FLASHBACK

"Ciel! You have another letter again," his mother called.

"Really? Give me! Give me!" Ciel exclaimed, jumping around his mother.

As Rachel handed the envelope over, she exchanged glances with her husband, Vincent. Never for once did their child smiled or laughed so freely. It only started a year back, but she was glad her son found some happiness. She tried to ask Ciel who the person was but he always replied, "My best friend!"

The letters kept on coming in, once a week or sometimes, twice. Every day, Ciel would pester her none stop whether any mail has arrived. It might be annoying but she would like to personally thank that person for the cheerfulness.

Ciel ripped the outer layer and opened the folded letter. His eyes glowing, reading the contents.

Hello Ciel,

It's snowing already huh? So cold yet so pure. Just like you. Have you ever tried making snow angels? Or have you had a snowball fight before? They are fun aren't they? The nice cold feeling, if only we could play together again. Life has been busy for me, moving houses again and changing schools. How is yours this week? Is it getting better?

Anyway, your birthday is approaching already! So fast! It will be two years since we met. Last year I couldn't make it to your birthday but do you know what? I can finally come back and visit you! I managed to clear all my things on the you again makes me nervous somehow and excited too. It's been so long since I've seen you. I wonder how you look like now.

Ask your parents okay? I'll bring lots of presents for this year and last year. As I always say, smile for me!

Love,

Sebastian

Sebastian was finally coming back to meet him. Ciel turned to his parents and asked, " Daddy, Mummy, can Sebastian come to our house on my birthday? Please?" Both adults looked at each other before agreeing. At last, they would see this friend of Ciel.

For the next few days, Ciel was cheerier that usual. Nothing could affect his mood. For the first time in nine years, he was looking forward to his birthday.

END OF FLASHBACK

Ciel brought himself back to reality. NO more thinking about the past. Nothing would be able to change what had happened. And most of all, that day, his life changed completely.

"Sebastian, do you remember how we watched the sunset and butterflies together? Those times were so fond, I really do miss them. Sometimes, I envy those kids playing at the playground. At least they have someone to play with everyday. While mine only lasted for half a month," muttered Ciel. "That day, what happened was my entire fault. My selfishness, my fault. If it were not for my selfish request, nothing of that would have happened."

Tears were polling in his eyes. Yes, it was his entire fault, he deserved to be blamed. The happiness was all gone after one selfish request. The notes he played were getting softer, depicting the quiet times both of them had. Remembered for all his life, Sebastian will be someone he will never forget. The tears were now freely caressing his cheeks; Ciel did not bother to wipe them away.

Oblivious to his surroundings, Ciel did not hear the door opening or closing.

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><p><strong>Sebastian's POV:<strong>

I was invited to this gathering of the founder of Pure Love. As of expected of a well-known musician, I could not turn down the invitation, could I? What a bother, one after another, those events are real annoying.

Ever since I heard the piece, I never forgot the player or the melody. Ciel was his name. Other than his school he was in and where he has been to, I could not find the teen's past. Even with my wide connections. It still remained a mystery who he really was or where he had learnt his skills from. Rumors had said that Ciel was the son of the late Rachel Phantomhive. However, she and her late husband, CEO of Funtom Enterprises, did not have any children. But after the performance, it proved that there were too many similarities of Ciel and Rachel. The way they interpreted that song, their facial expressions were completely the same.

What also came up in my search was that there was only one boy being born, six years after me, named Ciel. That Ciel was the music player, the young prodigy. However, no information could be dug up on his parents. Even if he is the Ciel I do know, what had happened to him during the past ten years? What really changed his personality to a cold and stoic one? Questions kept on running through my mind, making more determined to find out.

Now, the only question I have now is; is Ciel at the gathering?

Walking through the crowd of people, I scanned my surroundings. Well-known people all around the country attending this event. And as I pushed my way, I saw him. The blue haired boy.

Ciel.

He was speaking to the host. Richard. Saying something, the teenage tensed up. Not too obvious but I can still see it. What could be the very words that were spoken to make him react like this? Some gossip? Richard was leaving, I could see that. A small pat on Ciel's shoulder made him flinch slightly. His breathing has gotten heavier too.

Ciel made his way out of the ballroom and into the reception lobby. He seemed like he needed help. Making my way to him, a porter checked on Ciel and brought him somewhere. Perhaps, staying in the shadows observing would be better considering the fact that I would want to know more about the violinist.

Ciel was shaking lesser now, most probably due to the presence of the piano. As I stood outside the room, he played the instrument. Ahh… The melody. Not the same one as I once heard but as equally beautiful.

It was not as heart wrenching as the other but still, there was an emotion of yearning and missing someone. Who is this Ciel? Is he the one that I met ten years ago or just a stranger with the same name? This boy, what had happened to him I do not know but I guessed that his child hood was not an ordinary one.

The melody grew sweeter, yet sadder. I wanted to ask him why. Why the emotion.

I thanked my lucky stars that the room was enclosed with a glass door, transparent. After playing the song, Ciel hunched his back, deep in thought. He should be fine now. Lingering a little while, I noticed something glittering, rolling down the boy's cheeks.

Ciel… was crying?

I reached for the door handle and open it carefully. "…tian," he whispered. Pause. Did he say my name?

"Sebastian, do you remember how we watched the sunset and butterflies together? Those times were so fond, I really do miss them." _Sunsets… butterflies… and together. Ciel, is that really you?_ My heart clenched unknowingly. _What's this emotion that I feel?_

Ciel continued saying, "Sometimes, I envy those kids playing at the playground. At least they have someone to play with everyday. While mine only lasted for half a month. That day, what had happened was all my fault. My selfishness, my fault. If it was not for me, none of that would have happened."

My eyes widened, this teenager is definitely Ciel. My child hood friend. What has become of him?

Ciel was sobbing freely. I could not help but enter the room, wanting to comfort the teen. My heart ached for the boy in front of me, even as a child, he rarely cries. But when he does, it would mean that he blames himself for what had happened or he was overwhelmed by his emotions.

FLASHBACK

_Sob…sob…_

Someone was crying. Sebastian turned the corner and saw Ciel sitting by the edge of a pond, crying.

"Ciel... what happened?" Sebastian asked, crouching beside the child.

Puffy red eyes stared as Ciel looked up. Sebastian could clearly see the sadness and guilt in the boy's eyes. "Seb…as...tian… died," Ciel sniffed.

The raven haired male looked at the child, amused. He raised his eyebrows. "Ciel… Look! I'm still well alive!"

The young boy shook his head. "Not you… My dog. He… died of heart attack *hic* while playing fetch. He *hic* suddenly collapsed. It's my *hic* fault. We, no, I shouldn't have… played with him," he explained. Then, he burst into tears.

Sebastian was definitely not a canine lover but now is not the time to care about that. "Ciel, everyone dies. One day, Sebastian will die too." It was weird saying your own name but Sebastian ignored it.

"It's my fault. If we didn't play fetch, he wouldn't have died so early, so soon," Ciel said. He shook his head repeatedly, like denial could turn back time. "My fault. All mine," he whispered.

Sebastian had a hard time comforting and coaxing the young boy before he finally calmed down.

END OF FLASHBACK

Walking nearer to Ciel, I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed his frame. Ciel… I can't believe you were here all the time.

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><p><strong>Done! Hope you have enjoyed this long chapter. I apologize for any OOC. And the two flashbacks… It was weird typing them out. Like it? Ciel's past is going to be revealed slowly. But I guarantee that the next chapter would have another one. <strong>

**Reviews please! Please tell me how I can improve this story. I know that the first few chapters are very dry but I PROMISE it will get better. (I hope). ^^**


	5. We meet

**I'm back so soon! Mid-years is over. Sigh of relief. That means I'll have more time to spend on the plot! Yah! I thank you all for the reviews or the alerts/favorites for this story. It is really an encouragement for me. As I've promised in the previous chapter, the story will get better. So this is it! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: …Not mine at all.**

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><p>There was once a boy. Cheerful and lighting up people's lives. He was brought up by two loving parents. Kind and loving. From them, he had learnt how to love and to trust others. Wearing a smile every day, no obstacle could affect him. However, due to his strict upbringing, he would try to escape the torturous routine.<p>

A day like no other, he managed to leave the house unnoticed and ran to his favorite field. Then, a raven came to sight. His red eyes piercing through the cerulean ones. This boy backed away, but he was invited to stay. From that day, this boy made his first friend.

Every day without fail, this boy would sneak out and meet his newly made friend in the meadow. Spending time together, the boy cherished every moment. His friend was six years older than him. Though this boy was young, he knew his friend was charming. He had admired his father for his looks, however, when the raven came into the picture, his father took the second place.

They soon parted. The raven had to leave the area. Small gifts were exchanged on their last day together. Each promised that he would not forget the other and would stay in contact. Days turned into months and months turned into years. Letters sent to each other, this boy kept all of them in a box.

It was the boy's tenth birthday. His friend had agreed to attend the party. Not seeing the raven for two years made the boy very excited. He was determined to make this celebration a memorial one. And a memorial one he got. It was the birthday that stayed in his mind, etched forever.

The time was nearer for his friend to turn up. Unable to contain his excitement, the boy bounced up and down, not able to keep still. Everything was in place, all was left was the arrival of a certain boy. Then, a sound of a vehicle was heard. This boy had thought that his friend has arrived and asked his mother to check. But he was so wrong. Almost immediately, the boy was swept off his feet and the rest of it was a blur. It was silent at first, then, he heard his father shouting and his mother screamed. As they say, curiosity killed the cat; the sight that met his eyes killed him. The once clean and white room was tainted with crimson red. Fear overwhelmed him, so much that he could not make a single sound.

The whole night, the boy sat on the floor facing the main door, and waited for the raven who had promised him. He cried with absolutely no sound, hoping that there would a sign of the other appearing.

The next morning, the boy was heartbroken, his friend had broken his promise. Retrieving the box of letters from his room, the boy set off into the neighborhood he was forbidden to see. Being in an unfamiliar place scared the boy but he continued exploring. Night came and this boy could not find his way back. He was lost. Scenes of the previous night came back to him and he started wailing. Thankfully, some kind soul comforted him. He was scared, tired, hungry and cold. What happened that night he did not know. However, the following day, he found out that he was in an orphanage.

The sight of other children made him feel less lonely. He has thought that he would be able to make friends and play with them. To his disappointment, many found him to be an outcast.

Then, two teenagers approached this boy. They were one of the oldest there. They offered to play with him and he agreed. This boy, being too trusting, did not realize the change to attitude on them. The way how they play and his thinking of play was completely different. It came a time where they started to pick on his and beat him up. There were only two words to describe this boy then: their toy.

Due to his appearance, many lusted him. But he did not know. Until one day, an adult male made his move. This boy was forced to do things that were considered as filthy, impure. This caused his naivety to shed and a detached soul, not caring about anything anymore. Every time he was involved, this boy's soul would close up. He blames himself for falling to this low and promised that no matter how much one is trustworthy; he was never going to get hurt again. His emotions are a worthless thing now; they should and were kept behind the ice wall of his heart. The once cheerful boy became emotionless, indifferent; His maturity grew faster than any boy of his age, and his intelligence higher than those older than him.

But no matter how mature or how smart he was, this boy was still a child. Every night, he would cry himself to sleep, whispering words of desperation. This boy lived in trauma day and night. Trying to lessen the impact, the boy would grasp the necklace around his neck and draw strength from it. After all, it was the only thing he had left, other than the letters.

This boy would wake up with strength to face the day, the strength to carry on and not give up on life. The flame hope that someone would take him out from the nightmare was small but burned strongly. However, with every tick of the clock, the flame would grow dimmer. In times of need, this boy would ask his necklace what he should do; it was as if he was asking its previous owner.

Unknowingly, the boy grew fond of his first and last friend. It was something he could not comprehend. This friend of his was not even beside him in the worst times, the boy had a bond with the friend of his. He hoped that one day, one day he would be able to meet his friend again. A dream, a goal he hoped for. The feelings grew for the raven but he was oblivious. The words 'like' and 'love' was unknown to him already. Ever since he was treated as dirt or as a toy.

Yes, he grew fond of the raven. He started to like the raven even though they were miles apart. But he had no idea… Until a certain male came back into his life and changed everything.

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><p>Ciel jumped as a pair of arms trapped him, squeezing him.<p>

"Don't touch me. Let me go! Let me go!" he screamed while thrashing about. _No… Release me. Please… I don't want to be trapped again._ He pushed Sebastian away and searched frantically for the door. But, he could not locate it in the state of mind. _I'm trapped…No… Let me out… Please not tonight…_

Sebastian, surprised, stumbled back as he watched the blue haired boy scramble, in search for the door. He whispered," Ciel, it's me."

The said teen stared at the man. "Please… Please don't hurt me. I promise I'll behave." He saw the man coming forward. "No more, please," he whispered, taking a step back as the raven approached. Sebastian stretched out his hand, but Ciel jerked away, resulting in him tripping over and landing on the floor.

Wide and fearful eyes focused on the man. _What was he going to do? _

Sebastian cautiously stepped forward, worried for the teenager on the ground.

_He looked up and saw him. No, not him. Them. No… Not again, Ciel thought. "Hey Ciel! Want to play with us?" the girl questioned. He shook his head. "Really?" she asked again, this time smirking._

"_Please, no. Not anymore," he whispered._

_They both looked at each other before turning back to him. They were grinning and Ciel knew nothing good would come out when they smirked this sinisterly. Slowly, they walked up to the small boy, flexing their fingers._

"_Well Ciel, it would be better if you had said yes," the boy chuckled._

Ciel pushed himself backwards, trying to get as far as possible from Sebastian. It was the furthest he could go when his back touched a wall. Ciel then hugged his knees, getting into the smallest possible position.

Click. Clack. Click. Sebastian's shoes were the only one making the noise in the dead silence.

"_Ciel, Ciel, Ciel" the boy tsked. "Do you know how to respect your elders?"_

_Ciel trembled in fear. Only staring at the pair getting nearer._

"_Answer me!" the boy said, slapping Ciel across the face._

"_Y…yes," the young boy replied. He tasted the copper blood in his mouth._

"_Then you should have agreed earlier," the boy sneered. He curled his fist and raised it above his head._

_Ciel squeezed his eyes closed, waiting for the pain. Sebastian… where are you? He though. Help me…_

Sebastian managed to get closer to Ciel. He touched the boy's shoulder, and in response, Ciel shrieked, flinching from the touch.

"Please, no. No more," he muttered, tears kept rolling down his cheeks. Ciel was shaking, muscles all tensed. "Sebastian. Help me… Where are you? Please Sebastian, save me," he continued. His hand tightly grasped the pendent.

The mahogany eyes widened, Ciel was calling for him. Definitely. And… was that the pendent he had given Ciel? Not caring any more, he engulfed Ciel into a hug.

Ciel screamed, thrashed and shouted but Sebastian held on, tightly. He whispered," Ciel, it's me. I'm Sebastian. It's all right. I'm here." Coaxing the frightened teen.

Slowly, Ciel came out of his memories. "Sebas-"he said; however was cut short when he realized he was gripping onto the man's clothing. "Oh, I'm sorry," he apologized, staring at the floor as he removed himself from the pair of arms. It was the first time he had lost his cool in front of a stranger and worse, he might have injured him during the panic attack.

"It's alright. You are fine now," Sebastian replied. He gestured to Ciel's necklace. "May I see it?"

Ciel nodded, removing the chain from his neck. He treasured the necklace and would not entrust it to anyone. However, Ciel feels a sense of comfort around the raven-haired male and he seems very trustworthy too.

The pendent, winged shaped with a gem, was so similar to the one that he had given to the young Ciel. The teen glanced at the male; he had thought the raven had said that his name was Sebastian. Maybe, he had heard wrongly. "I'm sorry I've disturbed you. I shall leave now. Thank you for your help," Ciel said, opening his palm for Sebastian to return the chain.

As Sebastian placed the necklace on the palm, he asked, "This is a beautiful necklace. May I… know where you get this from?" He had chosen his words very carefully, not wanting Ciel to be suspicious of him of an ulterior motive.

"It was… from someone very dear," Ciel replied reluctantly, not wanting to reopen the old wounds again. "Anyway, I need to leave. Thank you Mister Michaelis for your help."

"Please, wait! Was the pendent given to someone by the name of Sebastian?" the older male asked. He had to get an answer before Ciel leaves.

"Wha-How did you know?" Ciel demanded voice as sharp as steel.

"Ciel… You see, I'm Sebastian," the raven answered.

Ciel narrowed his eyes. Something seems fishy. So many questions, who was he? Why a name like Sebastian? Was he a reporter? A gossiper perhaps?

"Sebastian. Right," he scoffed. "What proof do you have that you were the one who gave me the pendent? Or even know me in the first place? Maybe you've researched on me but I do not know. All I will say is, I have the rights not to answer your questions. Goodbye," Ciel walked out of the room, slamming the door shut.

_I will not give in…_"Ciel, we have met when you were eight and I fourteen. It was in a meadow when you first appeared. We spent have a month together. However, I had to shift to another place due to my parents' work. And on the last day, I gave you the pendent and you gave a drawing," he said while keeping up with Ciel's speed.

Ciel's steps visibly falter. _Sebastian, is that you? No. It can't be. If it was Sebastian, he would not have taken nine long years to come back._

"Ciel, please. After I left, we sent letters to each other. There was once, nearing your tenth birthday, I promised that I would turn up. But I didn't until the next morning. You have disppereared. That was the last letter I sent to you before all connections were lost. Ciel, it is really me. Where did you go?" Sebastian continued, picking up speed.

Ciel stopped. Too much of the past. "Sebastian… It is really you," he murmured.

Yes was the reply from the raven as he reached the teen. "I tried to contact you and going to your house a few times but you were not there anymore."

"It was too late then," Ciel whispered, his eyes were covered by the bangs. Sebastian could not see the emotions that were running in them. The atmosphere suddenly turned very tensed.

"Ciel, what happened to you?" Sebastian persistently asked.

_Much hell. _"Do you know, Sebastian, even though we knew each other during our younger days, we are now nothing but strangers?" Ciel questioned, trying to divert the attention away from his past. Those were the most unforgettable memories.

The raven-haired male frowned. Ciel had made a valid point. Neither of them knew the other party since nine years ago. He had tried to search for Ciel but the efforts were futile. Now that Ciel had appeared, he was not going to just let go. "That's… true. Why not I send you home? I doubt you have any transportation back," offered the male.

Shaking his head, Ciel answered," No thanks. I can take a cab home . I live near here anyway." He did not want to trouble Sebastian anymore. He had seen too much of what Ciel has been hiding.

"After all that's happened, I don't think so. You are not in the right state of mind. It's better if I send you back," Sebastian retorted. "You know Ciel, that part of you still stays the same? Always turning people down," he added with a chuckle. Sebastian started off towards the car park. A small gesture of his head indicating to Ciel that he should follow.

The younger male glared at him. Nevertheless, Ciel fell in step with the rave. "That attitude of yours never change. Ever since I met you, you always tease me. And now, you still do the same."

"Why thank you. I shall take that as a compliment," Sebastian acknowledged. But he thought, '_But Ciel… You changed so much. So much that I couldn't recognize you that day. And to begin with, what caused you to turn like this?'_

Their journey to the car was a short and silent one. Ciel stared at the vehicle when they arrived. The latest car model, one of the most expensive ones too. "Where the heck did you even get the kind of money? Even I don't earn enough to get the average ones."

Sebastian looked at the stunned teen and chuckled. "This car was actually bought for me. But I had to chip in a little. Like it?"

"The color suits you," Ciel muttered before getting into the car.

"Of course. It's my favorite color. What's yours?" the man asked as he started the engine. Sebastian wanted to start a small conversation and try to find out more about his child hood friend.

Not very much helping the raven in doing so, Ciel answered, "Blue." As he glanced out of the window, he finally notices the route they were going. "You know where I live?"

Eyes on the road, Sebastian replied," Dorm of the most prestige arts school." Ciel's eyes widened with this. _He knows where I live…_

"Ciel, you've never told me that you played the violin. Was it after I left then you picked it up? You are that good that you took my place."

Sigh. "I learnt even before I knew you. But that was the past. And as for me in the orchestra, Stuart heard me playing and approached. He asked whether I wanted to join since there was a space for another member. So I agreed," replied the blue-haired boy. It was probably the longest sentence he had said during the journey.

Ciel leaned against the window and closed his eyes. He felt exhausted. It had to be the effects of the panic attack. After yelling and thrashing about, it was no wonder his energy was drained away. Unknowingly, he drifted off to sleep.

The car came to a halt. The driver looked at his passenger and smiled. Ciel wore such an innocent expression when he was asleep, unlike the cold one when they first met. Taking off the jacket of his suit, Sebastian placed it over the sleeping male and went out of the vehicle.

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><p><strong>DONE! The next chapter has another scene of Ciel's past so… wait for it! I sincerely apologise that Ciel is going to have a horrible past, as always. Please review. I really need feedback on how to improve this. I probably won't update because I need to start on chapter two of Void. So MAYBE if I get more than five reviews… I'll get off my lazy bum and type the next one out as soon as I finish with Void. When I next see you… I should have at least 19 reviews… TEEHEE! ^^ Oh... And I need a BETA READER!<strong>


	6. Knowing You

**I'm back even without 19 reviews... But I guess its cause the previous chapter is crap. *sulks in a corner***** So here's the next chapter! By the way, it's really short.**

**Disclaimer: ...Kuroshitsuji isn't mine.**

**Oh... and you need to know this. **_Thoughts and flashbacks are like this. _Normal speeches and story is like this.

**Okay... Happy reading! *grins***

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><p>Ciel's POV:<p>

_He was getting nearer. I have to get away, escape this place._

_Running down the corridors, I tried to find a hiding place. This area was like a maze, no matter how many times I tried, I ended up outside my designated room. I could hear his footsteps. "Run! Hide!' My mind screamed at me. But I knew I had reached my limit. It was getting too difficult to breathe. My asthma was reacting at a time like this. _

_Gasping for breath, I slowed to a stop. I could not __go any further. All I was able to do was to wait . Wait for my tormenter to reach me._

_I could smell the strong odor of alcohol. He reeked of it. The scent was growing stronger as he approached._

_"Hey Ciel," he began. "Have you missed me?" He hugged me from behind, hands roaming my body._

_It was not the first time he tried to be close to me. Each time, I would tell him to release me. And tonight, I said it again. Unfortunately, I failed terribly. Failed to see the situation. Failed to get rid of him. And most of all, I failed to safe myself._

_"Please release me. We shouldn't be doing this," I pleaded. It was revolting, me bagging and he, sucking and nibbling my neck. I struggled to get free myself from __his grasp. However, he was too strong. He was a full-grown man while I, a small boy._

_To my relief, he released me. But it was short-lived. He pushed me to the fl__oor. Towering over me, he sneered," I do whatever I want. My place, my rules." With that, he lowered himself onto me._

_I screamed, yelled and thrashed about. But to no avail. I only received a slap on my face. I squeezed my eyes shut as his breath got nearer and nearer to my face._

_"Relax. I promise to give you the best," he purred, pressing his body onto mine. I screamed for the last time before my nightmare started._

Normal POV:

Ciel awoke with a startled cry. "It's only a dream. Only a dream," he repeatedly muttered. Looking around he took in his surroundings and remembered where he was. It was Sebastian who drove him back, but now he was apparently not in his seat.

Ciel shivered. He felt filthy. Useless and helpless. Wrapping his arms around himself, he noticed an extra layer of clothing on his body. He inhaled deeply, taking in the scent. Yes, it was definitely Sebastian's since the whole car smelled like it. He had calm him immediately. Just like how Sebastian had comforted him as a child. He could not deny that he had missed Sebastian terribly.

Ciel exited the car and spotted a silhouette at the boot of the vehicle. Black gravel crunched under his shoes as he made his way towards the male. the raven-haired heard the approach and turned to face Ciel.

"How's your sleep?" he asked.

"It was...fine. Thank you," Ciel hesitantly replied. He handed Sebastian the jacket and thanked him. The older male accepted the clothing and stared at Ciel.

After a while, he stated," You cried." Slowly, he wiped the tears away from the teen's face. "What happened?"

Ciel glanced at Sebastian in shock and surprise. He himself had not realised that the dream had made him cry. The gentle action from the other male has broken into the emotions Ciel had kept so long. Fear, despair, loneliness, guilt and lastly, a need to be loved.

"Just a nightmare," he whispered, trying to conceal those emotions. However, it was useless. He had hidden them for too long. Now, with a small of affection, those feelings sprang forth. Ciel blushed and looked away. He then stared at the ground, debating with his inner thoughts. "May I... may I hug you? Please?" He finally choked the words out.

_He's going to say no. He's going to reject he. He's going to laugh at the childish request. _Ciel thought, blushing at the ridiculous request he had just made. He glanced at Sebastian's face before adverting his eyes back to the ground. _He is going to say no. How can guys hug anyway? It is so inappropriate. _

Ciel opened his mouth to take the request back however, Sebastian beat him to it. "Ciel, it's only a nightmare. Come here," Sebastian smiled. Ciel was so cute. Never had he forgotten the times when he comforted Ciel. After all, Ciel was someone special.

Pride, fame, reputation, age and gender were thrown aside as Ciel leaned into Sebastian's inviting arms. Nine years was the amount of time he had let another get so close. It had been nine years since he had been hugged.

"Thank you Sebastian," murmured Ciel. The warmth he so missed, the loving touch he longed for. Just for tonight, he thought. This kind of action would put their reputation at risk, both the males knew this. If they were caught by paparazzi, the outcome would hideous.

Sebastian patted the younger male's back. This was the Ciel he knew, not the cold and indifferent one. he felt Ciel drawing away. Gently, he leaned in and brushed his lips against Ciel's forehead. A small intake of breath could be heard coming from the blue-haired male. "Better?" he whispered.

Ciel's cheeks turned a lovely shade of pink. "Yes, thank you," answered the male. Such an action... Why did Sebastian treat him so well? He had heard from the members of the orchestra that Sebastian was the devil's incarnate. But to Ciel, Sebastian was nice enough.

"Umm... You'd better get going. I've held you up. Thank you for... you know... everything," Ciel said. It was time to say goodbye yet again.

"It's my pleasure," came the reply as Sebastian got into the car. Winding down the window, the raven-haired male continued," Ciel, may we meet again."

The said teenager nodded and watched the car being started. Without thinking, he blurted out," Wait! Can we… stay in contact? I… I don't want to lose you again." Realizing what he had just said, Ciel felt his cheeks getting warmer. _Stupid! Stop stuttering! Why do I even sound like a school girl? It's not like I'm flirting with my child hood friend. _He mentally chided himself. "You know what I mean," Ciel murmured.

Chuckling to himself, Sebastian replied," Sure. Earlier while you were asleep, I entered my number in your phone already. I have yours too. Well then, see you."

The blue-haired boy gave a small wave as the black car drove away. When it was gone from sight, Ciel made his way back to his room. His heart light. _Sebastian... We finally meet again._

Unknown to the both males, a pair of hazel colored eyes had watched the whole exchange. From the arrival, to the hugging and kissing on Ciel's forehead, to the part where Sebastian left. A smirk was creeping up their owner's face. Such juicy gossip that involves a hot guy and a cute teen. Both of them famous.

However, she was not interested in such things. Only in the game of tug-of-war. Having decided on her prey, she would fight for it. Or for this case, him. No matter what, he will be hers. With a flip of her hair, she entered her quartets with a plan brewing.

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><p><strong>So sorry! Could only come up with this for the time being. And I declare that Void is on hiatus. <strong>

**Review if you have some free time ^^ Criticism is accepted too… Flame it if you must. **


	7. It starts now

**Here you go! Thank you for all the feedbacks/ answers for the story so far. Thank you! Vitual cookies and cupcakes for you! ^^**

**So I've decided, I'll type around three more chapters before Sebastian and Ciel becomes a couple. Cause a buildup is the best. Don't you think so ne? **

**To LovelyWickedDescet: I didn't know it was against the GRs so thank you for the warning! Gomen. For the tragedy part… Heeheehee… (Evil laughter) You'll see more of it as I do plan to have A LOT of tragedy thrown in. But it'll be for later chapters. Mwahahahaha!**

**So read and review!**

**Disclaimer: Gosh… I've said it already! I don't own anything. Except the plot of course.**

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><p>Keeping up with their schedule, neither Sebastian nor Ciel realized that a month had gone by. That month was hectic for both of them as their careers were at their peaks. And that gave them no time to contact each other.<p>

Ciel was busy, more than usual. Juggling three major courses, orchestra practices for the upcoming concert, the recording of his album and a girl who was stalking him, he had absolutely no time for himself.

Sebastian's schedule was less stressful but he was just as busy. Rearranging his schedule and trying to get people to change the concert's program by using his connections and sweet talk was no easy task. Finally, he had gotten what he wanted. Now, all he had to do is to turn p for practices with the orchestra. His former orchestra, the orchestra which Ciel became its concert master. He was joining them for the upcoming concert in six weeks time.

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><p><strong>In school, 2.30 pm: <strong>

"Ciel! Wait for me!" the girl, his stalker called out.

Groaning, the said teenager turned around and hissed," What do you want Maria? I just saw you in class!"

Maria pouted. "Come on Ciel! We're friends, aren't we? Can't we hang out together? Are you free now?" Questions kept pouring in. Ciel pinched the bridge of his nose. He felt a coming headache. Goodness, her voice was so sharp and high.

"Look Maria. I don't know why you are so close to me now nut if I wanted to have friends I would have done it in the beginning of the year. Now, if you'll excuse," Cold and inclement, Ciel replied. _Irritating girl. _He left her staring at him. Not in shock but in determination. "Just you wait Ciel. Just you wait," she seethed. Hands clenched, she stalked into her room furious.

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><p><strong>Practice hall, 4pm<strong>

Resting his chin on the instrument, Ciel tuned the four strings on his violin to the perfect pitch. It was not too low. It was not too high. It was perfect. Then, he carried on by playing some finger exercises to warm his fingers up. He was early again. However, there were members present already. This coming concert was not taken lightly. Playing to a full house of three thousand, the orchestra would either make it or break it.

"Ciel, come here for a moment. I need to speak to you," Stuart called, standing at a corner next to the door.

Setting his violin down, Ciel walked down the stage and asked, "Yes? What is it about?"

"I wanted to tell you that there will an additional item added to the concert program. I have invited a guest player for the concert." Ciel nodded as an indication for his conductor to go on. "I find that with the extra item, it would help you as well. So, you would be playing a violin duet or anything you prefer with him."

Narrowed eyes accessed the situation. Stuart had not said anything about an extra performance, even if he had intended to, why at such a late time? Definitely, someone was pulling the strings. "Who?" he questioned. The most suspicious person would be this guest that was going to join the orchestra. Not once in the previous six months was a guest being mentioned to him. Now, let the person's identity be revealed.

"Me." Came the reply as the door opened beside Ciel. Cerulean eyes widened as the person stepped into the hall. _No, it can't be… Why him of all people? _The teen opened his mouth but closed it after he thought of nothing better to say than 'You?'

Stuart cleared his throat. "Ciel, this is our guest, Sebastian Michaelis. Sebastian, Ciel, the current concert master," he introduced them, the raven-haired male smirked. It seemed that Ciel was put in a spot.

"We've met" Sebastian began. "Hello Ciel. It's good to see you again."

Ciel glanced at the older male. Sapphire eyes met mahogany ones and he replied, "Sebastian." Scenes of their last meeting flashed through his mind. After that night, he had regretted hugging the raven. Using the excuse of 'I wasn't in the right mind,' he decided not to let it affect him in any way. No one could blame him if they knew he needed some comfort, could they? Any actions of that night were purely on impulse, and the scene would not repeat itself.

"That's great. It saves the trouble of you two getting to know each other. More time to spend on preparing the piece! I'll leave the choice of it to both of you. Seventeen practices to go before we do a full run," Stuart said.

Ciel broke the eye contact and nodded at the oldest man. "Fine. Now, I have to tune the rest up. Please excuse me." As he said this, he turned and climbed up the stage. Taking his violin into his hands, he stood before the orchestra. Like before, they quietened down and waited.

Stuart and Sebastian watched as the orchestra got tuned. Then, the conductor looked at the male beside him and said, "Just watch them practice. After that, you can ask Ciel for further arrangements." Pause. "To be frank with you, you've not shown any interest in performing with another before. Why now?"

"Indeed. Why now?" Sebastian mussed. He watched the blue-haired teen prepare the players. An aura that seemed cold and distant enveloped the boy. But he knew, Ciel was more than cold and distant. He had seen the other side of him. "Perhaps a change would do me good," he offered. Stuart said nothing in return.

Practice went well and it ended earlier than expected. Stretching, Sebastian walked up to Ciel. "Ciel, are you free now? It would be better if we discuss the song selection earlier." The said male shook his head and apologized. "Sorry. I still have to rush for a recording. But I'll be free after 8.30 pm. Are you fine with that?"

Sebastian shrugged. "I'm free all night. Why not… I send you to the place? It'll be faster this way," he said, waiting for the boy to gather his belongings. Shaking his head, Ciel declined the offer. "I don't want to trouble you. I can go there myself." However, it was just a cover up. The real reason Ciel refused to take the ride was that he was afraid that something similar might happen, just like the previous night.

Sebastian sighed. The teen was turning him down again. Ciel shot him a glare. "I'll send you there. As you do your recording, I'll go through the possible pieces. Then, we can finalize it together after you have finished," said Sebastian in a tone which declared the subject closed.

Mumbling incoherent curses, Ciel followed the man to the car park. "Where?" Sebastian asked as he started the car. After telling Sebastian the address, Ciel looked at the street as they drove past. Inhaling Sebastian's scent, he asked without a single glance at the raven. "What's your motive?"

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><p><strong>HAHAHAHA! I've stopped here! So… now the pair can work together! This is more of a filler chapter but it'll lead up to something VERY important for the story. ^^<strong>

**One more thing… I've noticed that no one knows what happened to Ciel (except me). Hint: Read the first part of chapter five again. I've given a few clues here and there. Oh and one more question! 8) Do you think that adding the ring and the eyepatch for Ciel would be more... meaningful? Yes/No**

**I've also added a poll in my profile page so please help by voting! It's concerning about this plot. Thank you! ^^**

**Review and comment! Feedbacks and criticism is appreciated. Flame it if you must…**


	8. The teen, Hearbroken

**Warning: This is part eight of the story. If you haven't read chapter seven, read it or you might not understand. I've changed the previous chapter already. READ IT! XD**

**It's been sooooo long since I updated. Cos of the other fic I am working on... But, thank you for all the reviews that came in. So could you guess what happened to Ciel in the past? I'm sorry but I'm nowhere near writing up Sebastian's past but I do hope I'll reveal it soon. FTW! So less talk and more plot/story. *zips mouth***

**Disclaimer: I'm telling ya… Read what I've written in the previous chapters!**

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><p><strong>Previously:<strong>

_Sebastian sighed. The teen was turning him down again. Ciel shot him a glare. "I'll send you there. As you do your recording, I'll go through the possible pieces. Then, we can finalize it together after you have finished," said Sebastian in a tone which declared the subject closed._

_Mumbling incoherent curses, Ciel followed the man to the car park. "Where?" Sebastian asked as he started the car. After telling Sebastian the address, Ciel looked at the street as they drove past. Inhaling Sebastian's scent, he asked without a single glance at the raven. "What's your motive?"_

**Continuing:**

Feigning ignorance, Sebastian replied, "Motive? Of what?"

Ciel rolled his eyes. "You know what I'm talking about. Why did you add in the item? Why with this orchestra, with me? And why did you offer to send me? Why being so nice to me? We are nothing but strangers after all, after nine years. What do you want?" Questions kept coming as Ciel asked, wary of the driver.

The traffic light turned red and Sebastian stepped on the brake, letting the car slow to a halt. Staring into the depth of blue, he answered sincerely, "Because I've missed you so much that I'm trying to make up for the lost time." Ciel glanced at the male and looked away, blushing. _Damn… Why does he have this effect on me? Stop blushing! _He thought.

The color changed and the car moved forward. Emotions wiped clean from his face, Ciel said, "But it cannot make up for the broken promise. That day, that letter. You'd promised yet you didn't turn up. You've never broken your promises to me, until that day. I remember so clearly." The voice gradually turned into a whisper. Thick tension hung in the air.

Sebastian swallowed. "Ciel, that day I had a violin competition. It was very sudden. But-"he tried to explain. However, was interrupted by Ciel. "I don't want to hear what your excuses or reasons are. No matter how much time you try and spend with me, it would not replace the hurt that that broken promise had caused. I've waited but you never came. Sebastian, never."

Fingers tightening around the wheel, Sebastian could clearly hear the pain in Ciel's voice. It was not an excuse; he had a violin competition on Ciel's birthday. But after the event, he rushed over by private plane. Being the son of an actor and actress has its benefits.

However, it was morning when he reached Ciel's house. To his dismay, Ciel was not there. Instead, he was greeted by the sight of a group of reporters and police that surrounded the house. He found out that the CEO of Funtom and his wife, one of the greatest female violinists by the name of Rachel Phantomhive, had been brutally murdered. He asked around if anyone had seen a boy, aged ten. But no one even knew the boy. Police said that Vincent and Rachel Phantomhive have no children however there were children toys and clothing in the house, which looked like they had been recently used. But they could not explain their presence. He knew then, Ciel had disappeared. And was gone till now.

The rest of the journey was silent, each hurting in his own way.

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><p>"We're here," Ciel announced, breaking the silence. Both males exited the car and made their way to the building. As they entered, Ciel saw a familiar hue of a girl's hair. <em>Oh no… Don't tell me it's…<em>

"Ciel! Finally!" the girl turned and exclaimed.

The said teen's face paled. She was here again. Taking in a breath, he questioned, "What are you doing here? Don't you have better things to do than to appear everywhere I go?"

She pouted, resembling a puffer fish than being cute. "Ciel…" she whined. "Don't be mean. I'm checking whether you are pleased with us."

"It would have been better if you leave Maria," he scoffed. "Ouch! What was that for?" he asked when being jabbed in the rib by the male standing next to him.

"If you would be so kind to introduce…" Sebastian trailed off as realization hit Ciel.

A roll from the cerulean eyes before their owner said, "Sebastian Michaelis, Maria Wilson. Maria, this is Sebastian." The girl squealed and gushed, "Sebastian! The violinist! It's so nice to see you! I'm the granddaughter of this recording company's boss.

Shaking hands, Sebastian returned the greeting, "And I you, Ms Wilson." Maria sighed and said, "Call me Maria. I… haven't seen you coming here too often."

Sebastian smiled and answered that he rarely does any recordings. He tried to release his hand from the grip but to no avail. "Oops! Sorry," Maria giggled, letting go.

That action did not go unnoticed by the cold blue eyes. The male cleared his throat, showing displeasure. The hazel eyes focused at him, annoyance briefly flashed across them. "Yes Ciel?"

"Sorry Maria. You're holding us up. I don't want to miss my slot. So if you would so kind," replied Ciel, knowing that the girl would get his message.

Nodding, Maria said, "Right. See you then. And Ciel, tell me whatever you need from us." Turning to Sebastian, she placed her hand on his arm and continued, "You too, Mister Michaelis. I'm at your service." Ciel narrowed his eyes; he had caught the double meaning. Also, the hand was lingering on Sebastian's arm and her voice was as sweet as honey but he found it too sweet. Ciel walked away, leaving Sebastian trailing behind him.

Once Maria was out of sight and out of listening distance, Ciel muttered, "Disgusting." Sebastian raised his eyebrows, curios about the outburst. "I don't know what happened to her. We weren't so close then; somehow, she started following me around. Annoying b…" Ciel ranted on but trailed off at the last word. Surprised eyes looked at Ciel; Sebastian did not know what to say. What had happened to the boy he knew so well?

Their exchange in the car was forgotten, or so it seems, when Ciel said in somewhat cheerier tone, "Okay. Here we are. You can sit here while waiting. Sorry, I don't want anyone to hear the recording." Sebastian shrugged and fell back onto the sofa that lounged outside.

"Well, I'm fine," the raven replied. Ciel nodded and proceeded into the studio.

The song he would be recording today would be 'Remembered'. It was the very one which he played at the gathering. The one that had calmed his nerves. Flexing his fingers, he gave a thumbs-up. Signaling that he was ready.

While the recording took place, Sebastian flipped through the possible pieces they were able to do. As he was doing so, a shadow fell over him. he looked up and saw a certain girl. "Maria, what are you doing here?"

The girl smiled sweetly and said, "Well... I was bored you see. Then, I saw you sitting here alone so I came over. I'm not disturbing you or anything right?" She plopped next to him, sitting thigh to thigh. Sebastian noticed this but made no move. "So... What are you doing?" she asked.

"Searching for song," Sebastian said.

Maria fell silent with a 'Oh'. After some time, Sebastian asked, "You do have some music knowledge right?" The said girl nodded. "Good, then you might be able to help me." Sebastian continued. So both of them discussed the choices of music. Unknown to Sebastian, a smirk was plastered on Maria's face. _Phase one... Accomplished._

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><p>Gradually getting softer, the notes started to become too soft to be heard. Ciel lifted his fingers off the keys and looked through the glass, nodding that he was done.<p>

"Bravo! Magnificent!" the producer said as he clapped his hands.

Ciel exited the room and thanked him. "I'll come back in three weeks time to hear it and do the touch up. Is that fine?"

The producer said, "Yes. Thank you for your time." The blue-haired boy nodded. _Sebastian… This album is for you, especially dedicated to you. Did you know? Now that you are back, there's nothing more I can ask for._

He collected his belongings and went out of the studio. What he saw stopped him. Sebastian and Maria were sitting so closely, whispering to each other as though they were a couple. Ciel clenched his jaw, _why… are they…?_

"Sebastian," he gritted his teeth while saying. The said male raised his head and saw Ciel. Standing up, he asked, "Are you done? Ready to go?"

Ciel gave a sharp nod and pivoted towards the car park. Sebastian, baffled by Ciel's actions, tilted his head in confusion. Giving a wave to the girl, he followed Ciel. The smirk on Maria's face grew wider. _Just wait… I'll get you._

Getting into business, Ciel asked, "Do you have some songs in mind?" The raven nodded, "I have. Why don't we take our dinner first then go to my house. I've everything there." After a while, Ciel agreed. The car was driven out of the car park and into the main road.

Both men fell silent. Ciel was replaying the scene at the records studio in his head over and over again. Sebastian eyed the boy, knowing that he was given the cold shoulder treatment. "So… Ciel, how did it go?" he finally asked.

A short reply was given. "Fine." Was all Ciel said before shutting his mouth. The driver then smirked. "Why... are you ignoring me then? You weren't like that before the recording. Why the change?"

Ciel's eyes widened. Why? Why was he reacting like this? "I… don't know…" Ciel whispered. Sebastian did not push further after hearing the reply. Ciel frowned. Why does he feel so… disappointed?

The car came to a stop and Sebastian broke the silence. "Ciel, we're having a take away. Are you fine with it?" The teen said without looking at the driver, "I'll have what you have."

The raven made his way to the food counter and Ciel watched his movements. Fluid and graceful. The question that Sebastian asked kept running in his mind. 'Why are you ignoring me? Why the change?' _What does my reaction mean? Why is my heart fell like it's constricting? IT hurts so much. But why? What exactly is this feeling? _"So pain," he muttered.

Sebastian came back and the pair went to his house. As they neared the venue, the building loomed over them. Ciel stared at Sebastian in shock. "This is where you live? With this type of car, here?" he incredulously asked. He was expecting a large mansion to be Sebastian's house but this… this was unexpected.

The raven chuckled. Ciel was really adorable at the moment. "Yes, this is where I live. I find living in a gigantic house unnecessary. One can get lonely. No?" The blue-haired boy, still in a daze, nodded slowly. This man was just full of surprises. However, Ciel was in for a greater surprise when he stepped into the hall.

His jaw dropped. The couch was glossy black, placed in the center of the room. A television set was facing it, with two speakers at each side. The floor was carpeted with midnight blue fur. Soft and ticklish to the feet. The walls were painted grey, unlike the floor and the ceiling, which were white. The apartment had full length windows and Ciel could see his own reflection on them.

Sebastian glanced at the male beside him. His expression softened as a smirk spread across his face. "Ciel, come on in. or are you going to stand there like a dummy?" The said boy shot an irritated look at the speaker before walking in.

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><p><strong>OMG! Finally! I'm done! This is a filler chapter, I guess. I promise that the next chapter would be better and something you would look forward to! Really, I not bluffing!<strong>

**Review if you have some free time!**


	9. Feelings

"Ahh… There! Yes! More!" exclaimed a certain raven. He leaned onto the arm of the couch and closed his eyes. Ciel no doubt was extremely good at it and it was a wonder how someone so young was very well-trained in the technique. He contentedly sighed. As it came to an end, Sebastian beamed at his companion.

"You're awesome Ciel!" chirped the male.

The said blue-haired male shot the raven one of his infamous glares again. "It would have been better if you had not commented at every single phrase of the piece!" He placed his violin into the case before sitting down, next to Sebastian.

"So it is confirmed. We'll be doing this sonata. It's the best choice, don't you think so Ciel?" Sebastian said, ignoring the previous grumble that came from the younger. Honestly, the teen grumbled more than he did as a child.

"…Ciel? Hey, Ciel! Ciel! What's wrong?" the older male asked, concerned for the teenager, who fell silent. His face was emotionless and Sebastian could not tell what the other male was thinking. In fact, Ciel seemed to be in a daze. "Ciel! What's wrong? Answer me!" Sebastian continued, trying to get a response. Leaning in, Sebastian touched the boy's cheek. "Ciel?" he called again.

Slowly, the grey-teal haired male lifted his head. "Did you know that touching other people without permission is very rude?" Ciel asked. He sighed before continuing, "If that is all, I'll be leaving" Getting off the couch, he made his way to the door.

**Ciel's POV**

The familiar melody of the sonata played through my mind. Strangely, or I would say coincidentally, Sebastian and I would be playing this piece for the performance. Of all the pieces, why this?

As cliché as it sounds, it was the last piece my mother played before she was gone. On the day, my birthday. Sebastian did not know this at all and I planned to keep it that way.

I fell silent when he confirmed that we would be doing the piece. Past memories of the last day together resurfaced. "Ciel! What's wrong? Answer me!" Sebastian asked. He seemed to be genuinely concerned but what would change if I were to tell him about the thoughts I have now? Nothing. Nothing at all. He did not turn up for my birthday, the day I lost all. Nothing would be able to change what had happened.

"Do you know that touching someone without permission is very rude?" I asked. It came out colder and sharper than I and expected. I was and still not used to come in contact with people, physically. Past occurrences made me react this way. As open as I was in my childhood, I had changed. Cold and distant to all.

"If that's all, I'll be leaving,' I continued. I had to leave this place. Uneasiness was growing in my heart as the past came up. I hated it. Why do I have to be so fearful, so weak?

'Ciel!" Sebastian said, grabbing onto my left arm. "Please. Stay. Please, a little longer."

I refused to meet his eyes for the burning intensity in them. I knew if I were to merely gaze into the mahogany eyes, my remaining barriers would fall. "Let me go," I tugged my arm that was held but the raven had a firm grip on it. Instead, he tightened his hold and I winced. Loudly, on purpose.

"No. Not until you agree to stay," replied Sebastian. My cerulean eyes narrowed. I knew he was testing his limits and I detest that the most. If he wants to play a game, so be it. I shall be follow.

'And what if I don't?" I questioned. Then smirked. Two can play the game.

"Then…" he paused. "I won't let you go until you agree to." Jerk. Eyebrows twitching in annoyance, I spun round and snapped," Dammit! What's your problem? What do you want?"

The black-haired male sighed and got up. "Want?" asked he. Fear was steadily growing in me, I knew something, something that I would hate would happen.

"That's right! What is this all about? What is your motive?" The previous exchange in the car came back to me. The broken promise and my shattered heart. Shaking my head, I said, "You know what? Forget it. I shouldn't have asked yo-"

"Ciel," interrupted Sebastian. "I've told you that I miss you and I still do..." I curled up my right fist of the arm that was free. That bastard. He interrupted me by telling me that he missed me. Who does he think I am? Some person who will fall for his words? This was the final straw. First, he grabbed onto me. Then, he refused to let me go. Now, he even interrupted me. "You!" I hissed. Aiming my fist for the raven's face, I punched that cocky face. I so wanted to wipe that smirk off his face.

My fist was nowhere near the flesh I so wanted to hit. In fact, it was caught by Sebastian. I was trapped. Both hands held by the raven, I tried to twist myself free. To no avail. I growled, "Let me go."

Sebastian stayed silent and watched me. The futile attempts to free myself. "Let. Me. Go!" I huffed. Obviously, I was tiring myself out.

"No Ciel," Sebastian said. "Not until you calm down and here me out."

Seeing that the struggle would get me nowhere, my arms slacked. "Release me and talk," I demanded.

I felt blood circulating to my fingers as Sebastian let go. With crossed arms and cold narrowed eyes, I waited for the raven to speak.

"See Ciel," he began. "Ever since you disappeared, I've been searching for you. But now that you're here, I thought… we could… catch up." I raised my eyebrows and looked at him with piercing eyes.

"Tch," I muttered. "Cut the chase. What do you _really _want?" I asked, emphasizing on the 'really'. Previous events had thought me to be wary of all, trusting in no one except myself.

Sebastian ran his fingers through his hair as he looked away. When he turned back, I could feel the intensity of his eyes as he stared at me, the gaze I refused to meet. "I want… no. I need to know what happened to you on your birthday, nine years back. Even as I went to your house the next morning, you weren't there."

With raised eyebrows, I rolled my eyes. "Really?" I paused. "Too late Sebastian, it was too late. Even if you want to make up for the lost time, as you've said in the car, it would never replace the agony I've waited for you. All night, and you just broke that promise, simply by not turning up." I turned away and whispered, "Nine years it had been. All hope is lost as the time ticks. So… what do you have to say…? Sebby?" I spat out the last word. The nickname I used to call Sebastian when I was a child.

In furry, I locked eyes with the raven. And that was an action I regretted. The sharp look burned right through me. I was trapped. I couldn't turn away, couldn't break the eye contact. Just like a deer caught in the oncoming traffic, the mahogany eyes held mine.

Sebastian took my chin in his hand, holding it firmly so that I couldn't look away if I wanted to. "Ciel, no matter what, I will make it up to you. I promise I will."

"I don't want your promises. You can't keep them anyway," I hissed, trying to yank my chin out of his grasp.

"Ciel, what can I do for you to believe me? To fully explain?" my captor asked.

"You?" I scoffed. "You know, forget it. I'm tired. I want to go home. Now release my chin!"

**Normal POV**

Sebastian's heart shattered. No matter how hard he tried to get his point across, the younger wouldn't listen. Perhaps it was partially his fault for hurting Ciel. The younger's words were like arrows, directed at his heart and piercing through it.

Ciel was no more understanding. He had changed.

However, Ciel was the same. He was breaking inside. He, in no way, would lose his coldness. He would always remain cold, indifferent. This would then prevent more hurt to his current state.

"Why do you keep insisting that I listen?" Ciel demanded. "I'm sick and tired of hearing other people. For the last time, let me go." Determination shone in his eyes while coldness started to seep in them.

Sebastian opened his mouth, ready to reply, but closed it again when no words came out. Ciel's attitude stunned him/ He had to get the whole past out of the younger to know the male's change in behavior. But the teen prevented him from doing so unless…

The blue-haired male saw the resolve form abruptly in the raven's eyes. His own cerulean ones widened in fear and surprise. This was the look he was so familiar with. "N-"Ciel started to object but it was too late.

The raven's lips crushed onto his, forcefully. "Mn!" Ciel voiced, but was muffled by the other. Sebastian's tongue traced his lips, seeking for entrance. Without realization, the robin responded.

But as reality smacked Ciel, he struggled and tried to pull himself away from the older. But it was impossible.

"STOP!" The teen bit down hard on Sebastian's lip.

"Damn." The other swung back, clutching his lip. Beads of blood were appearing; first reluctantly, than quickly. "What the _hell _Ciel? Why did you do that?"

"I should be the one asking you!" Ciel hissed. He grabbed his violin case and bag before stalking out the room. Then, he left Sebastian's house, with a bang.

Sebastian stared at the spot where the robin just stood. Sighing, he sat on the couch. He had made the matter worse; creating a larger distance between them.

* * *

><p>It had been nine years.<p>

Nine years… without meeting Ciel.

It was one year less than a decade when he, the raven, sorted out his feelings.

Nine long years had come and gone by so quickly. All these time, searching for Ciel. Before… they met again.

Now, after these nine years…. Sebastian realized that he saw Ciel more than a friend. More than a brother.

…

"I'm starting to fall for you that's why…" Sebastian whispered.

* * *

><p><strong>It's been long since this fic has actually been updated… I'm sorry… Apparently, I haven't got some feedback on how the story is…. So I'm assuming that its fine since most of you suggests that their relationship should go slow… Yup! So I'm planning on that... and yes, the characters are OOC. I'm sorry.<strong>

**Review if you have some free time~ I do hope I can make it better.**


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